I have found it harder to make deep friendships as I’ve become older. I have a lot of friends that are really great, but many are not the go hang-out-all-day kind, or share deepest dreams and secrets, totally connected kind of friends. Those seem harder to find, especially because I’ve moved so many times in the last 20 years and have been focused on family and motherhood. I have been afraid to really put myself out there and really open up for fear of moving or neglecting my family life. I have also had some big heart breaks in the last couple of years thinking that I found my soul sisters only to find that I had to guard my heart and protect my true self.
Lately, now that my children have become more independent and I am planning to stay put, I have been finding out who my real, true friends are. They are the ones that hold my dreams gently in their hands, providing protection, encouragement and kindness to help me blossom. Those special gems in my life feel no need to put a negative spin on my plans and hold me high so I can see my bright future. I am so lucky to have these beautiful women in my life.
I think that friendships develop as a progression, like this painting I did in my art journal. It starts out promising, but sketchy. You hold tight to your heart. Then you learn more, open up and things start to fill in and develop. Pretty soon, the relationship feels rich with color and deep awareness of one another and it feels so good, easy–positively uplifting. I cherish that kind of connection and keep it so close to my heart and work hard to give back in return.
How about you? Do you feel it gets harder? How about you mamas out there- do you feel motherhood, having a family makes things harder? What are your thoughts?