I’m reading the book What Do You Really Want For Your Children, by Wayne Dyer for The Silent K‘s blog a book along. We are on Chapter One
I generally don’t read this type of book. You know the kind: do this …and this will happen. They always seem to be written in a, everything is black & white sort of way which has never appealed to me. In my eyes everything is a million shades of every color. There is no black & white answer for anything. But, I have decided to take a different approach to this book. After all, parenting is by far the most important and the hardest job I’ve ever had. Who couldn’t use a few tips or suggestions to think about. Some ideas I may like, others I may not. I’m just going to dig in, take it with a grain of salt, and see what it has to offer. I’m hoping to learn a thing or two in the process.
Chapter One: What do you want more than anything for your children.
In this chapter, Dr. Dyer presents the overall desire of any parent: for their child to be happy. To achieve this, he says, is to teach your children to be “no-limit” people. He has a huge list of what it means to be a no-limit person, but basically it means to live with a positive and happy attitude and being able to handle life’s difficulties without being easily overwhelmed or needing the use of crutches to help you along. In order to do this, he says, you must become a no-limit person first and be an example for your children.
I couldn’t agree more with the part about being a good example for your children. That makes perfect sense to me. You can’t sit around smoking and tell your kids it’s bad for you. You can’t expect your kids to eat healthy and then skip breakfast and have a candy bar for lunch. You can’t complain all day and expect your children to have a good attitude about life. This is true. Becoming a no-limit person sounds good on paper but is it really possible? You should see his list of things a no-limit person does and doesn’t do. He goes on and on for 3 pages! He’s basically decribing the perfect person. A no limit person is never depressed, doesn’t let anger debilitate them, doesn’t worry, has no anxiety about the past, is not competitive, they don’t compare themselves with others and much, much more.
Sure, I want to be that kind of person. I’d love to throw my insecurites out the window and dump my issues in the trash, but how long is this going to take? I mean, are my kids going to be grown up by the time this all happens. It doesn’t just happen over night you know. To start, he says, to share positive dialogue with your family. Find the good in all situations. I think I can do this. Heaven knows that my 4 year old hears everything we say, even when we think he isn’t listening.
Dyer states that children already possess qualities of a no-limit person. We just have to gently guide them into becoming no-limit adults. Hopefully, as I read on, I will learn more about how to do this. The ideas are looking good but I still need more. Looking forward to the next chapter.