I want my children to be risk takers
Okay, I HAVE been reading this book, just having a hard time keeping up with the writing part. Part of me really wants to write about it because there is so much that I enjoy, want to share, and disagree with in this book but, creative writing, critiquing and general re-hash writing has never been up there on my list of favorite things to do. Everytime I sit down to write, I end up doodling, reading other blogs, etc. So, I will TRY to keep up. But, just know that I am reading the book and checking out what others have to say, even if I’m not keeping up on the writing part.
In this chapter Dyer discusses fear of change and risk taking. Generally, I think I embrace change for the most part. I don’t mind starting a new job. I have moved to a different city/town 5 times in the last 13 years. I am moving again (hopefully) soon. I am looking forward to leaving the Big D behind. I am looking forward to new ventures in AZ etc, etc. On the other hand, I feel like I am only moving back to Az because it is familiar, safe, closer to family. What I really want to do is move to the northwest, or Colorado. When I go back to Az I’ll be working again as a RN. But, what I really want to do is open an online shop to sell my stuff- do craft shows- Just paint, make, paint, make. This is what I want, but what about the financial side? Can we afford living in the places we really want? Will we be able to both work at home & make it? What about the kids? How do I set an example of being a risk taker and then always chose the safer road?
It all starts getting very fuzzy when you start thinking about what is safe and what is risky. That’s not to say that doing something risky can’t be great, exciting and amazing. I grew up in a family of fear. Fear of change, fear of strangers, fear of danger, fear of the unknown. If my great grandparents hadn’t picked up there entire life to move to the states where would I be now. If they hadn’t been risk takers, what kind of opportunities would be before me? Life is risky. I don’t want to sit around being afraid, I want to live it, tastes it, feel it, explore it! I want my kids to do the same. I don’t want them to be paralyzed by fear of change. I want them to look it in the face and and take it standing tall and be able to deal with it- success of failure. Of course I think that there is a balance that I as a parent have to set forth as to how to be sensibly cautious and fearless at the same time.
Dyer suggests using an imagination technique, where you encourage your child to create mental images of what they want, or how they want things to be. Becuase of our upcoming move, I have been trying to use this technique to help Super-E cope with our move. He loves his room, our house, our yard, the library we go to, our walks through the neighborhood etc. Through this imagination techniques I have been trying to help him build a positive picture of what it will be like in our new place. By talking about our new house, new yard, his new room and what it will be like, he has been able to create a brighter picture. Along with constant reassurance that we are taking his important belongings with us when we leave, he is slowly becoming a little more excited about the idea. I think helping him to build a more positive vision of himself in various situations will be helpful in the future when school starts and even more change comes about.
Dyer also gives a list of how we discourage positive attitude towards change. I know I am guilty of a few, like constantly emphasizing the price of things, what we can and can’t afford. Instead I should talk about what we need and don’t need rather than the monetary value of everything. I also find myself stepping in to help out a little too much. E wants to do everything by himself right now and I should step back and let him go at it while encouraging and supporting him.
Dyer suggests ideas for encouraging children to seek out, rather than fear the unknown, by being open to different religions, politics, foods, places etc. He proposes that you keep your prejudices to yourself so as to allow your child to make up their own opinions and decisions about life. This I have to say is very difficult. How do you pass along your values to your children without prejudices squeezing there way in. I know the answer to this is through my actions, but it seems so hard to not just say We believe in this because of this. How do I teach my values about what we eat when we are surrounded by something entirely different. So, I set a good example by eating healthy and putting healthy foods in my home. But when the question WHY, WHY, WHY comes along what can I say that doesnt reek of hypocrisy?